Fat did you say?

Okay, I am still breathing through my mouth as of this moment. While chewing this gum called Airwave (it's a really minty strong and sugar free chewing gum)... two of them, actually. Why you ask? That's because I just drank one of the most disgusting crap that I have ever drank... for lunch! Sigh... what I go through just to keep fit and heatlhy.

Let me explain, right now, I am going through this diet called a Detox, which is short for detoxification. Basically, it means that you are cleansing your body from unwanted chemicals and toxins that you have accumulated since you came out of your mama's womb. So for me, that's like 26 years worth of junk... when I say junk, I MEAN junk! Like cholesterole, salt, oil, fat... Lord knows what else is there! Now, how do you do this? You do it with fruit, water, detox drops, powdered supplements... and a lot of GUTS!!!! Oh, let's not forget discipline... and the most important of all--- DETERMINATION!!! I'm not kidding, man! This shit is totally hard! I'm like Mr. Ruffles, Potatoe Chip Joe, Salty Sultan... I love those junkie things! They are what life is all about! Aah... those salty, crunchy, greasy chicharon... those wonderful suckling pig skin... those food with cholesterole so high it's like digging-your-own-grave goodness with every bite!!! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

But, there comes a time in a person's life when he realizes he's fat, ugly, and weak. We can't change anything about the ugly part, but we can certainly change the fat and weak part. So let's get started on a journey that you wouldn't want to take... unless you're as desperate as I am. This'll only take about 5 days anyway.

DAY 1. Wednesday.
This blog entry was supposed to be yesterday... but I didn't find the time. So now, here it is. Last night, when I was in the gym, I weighed myself before working out and after a light snack. I weighed in at 176 pounds. I used that old conventional weighing scale that uses small weights balancing on a horizontal bar because it's the most accurate next to an Atomic Weighing Scale. That's like my regular weight. Actually, before I started doing weights, I was 174 pounds. So I gained 2 pounds of muscle in a sense. No, it's not fat! I am 5' 8" in height. So that should give you an idea.

I woke up at 7.45am like any other work day. I then took 7 drops of Detox Drops. I took it under my tongue for that extra fast absorption. Then I drank a glass of hot water with a slice of lemon. After 15 minutes, I drank a glass of this totally GROSS and almost black powdered drink. I'm not sure what it is, since my sister and cousin is doing all the blending and grocering for me... I just came here to drink it. I'll post more details as the days progress. After drinking that black gross thing, I then drank this totally GROSS and dark green powdered drink. But this time, it's not just one... but TWO glasses! What a deal! Anyway, by now, you would have noticed that there's a pattern here... yes... they're all GROSS! They should start calling this diet the GROSS DIET! Get used to the word 'gross' because it's gonna be here in this blog for the next 4 days! The dark green stuff is a blend of two powdered drink along with strawberries and kiwi. Blend them together and you have this dark green ooze to drink. No wonder turtles turned into mutants.

That sums up breakfast. Probably the grossest breakfast that I ever had. Man, I miss those fried eggs and bacon.

So, off to work I went with this weird after taste in my mouth. At around 11am, I eat a kiwi. This is the highlight of my entire morning, by the way. Kiwi never tasted this good! I used to hate it because it caused the roof of my mouth to go itchy. But not in this case.

At 1pm, it's time for another gross session. Lunch. I have to drink this glass of white powdered stuff. It sorta tastes like almonds... so my sister says. I don't like almonds to begin with. And so, I used a small plastic cup and filled it with warm water (room temp. water is disgusting). I then put two tablespoons full of this white stuff in. Stir it with a chopstick (I forgot to bring a spoon) and WALAH--- a cup full of thick, mirky looking, gross smelling health drink! So I smelled it... it smelled like this weird almond biscuits that's powderized and then put into water. In other words, it's like drinking sawdust juice. The texture is so darn disgusting! My gosh! And I thought breakfast was disghusting!!! Okay, so after being at the verge of throwing up... I kept my mind on the prize--- good health and less love handles. Okay... that should do it for lunch.

By the way, since after breakfast, I've been having gas problems. It's like the bomb, baby! Fartsville here! But farting is goooooooood! And it feels nice, be honest you!

At around 4pm... it's time again... for lunch! Ack! Another glass of that repulsive white stuff! Same story... almost threw up.

And now, dinner... I thought dinner was gonnna be okay... I was wrong! It's another dose of that dark green stuff! Half a blender of it (or two glasses). After dinner at home, I went out to dinner with some friends. I had to do something but it so happens that they were in the same place so we met after doing my thing. They ate regular food. Me? I ate air. Believe me when I say that air tastes so good compared to those gross powdered things. Ah, this must be the diet's secret... it grosses you out until you run out of strength to eat. When we were looking for a restaurant to eat in, I was getting excited... 'what should I eat?', I thought... then, I realize that I'm on Gross Diet. Shit. But you know, the wierd thing is, I did not crave for anything. Sure, what they were eating looked and smelled great, but I had no urge to eat. I am not hungry, too at that point.

After dinner, we went for some walk and coffee afterwards. I drank a bottle of Evian and a banana. Ah... a banana... the highlight of my night. A lesson is to be learned here... never take bananas and kiwis for granted. They can be your best friend. :)

When I came home, I took 7 drops of Detox Drops again and drank that black gross stuff again. By this point, I have learned to shut down my nose. Breath through your mouth and you won't taste a thing. After drinking, breathe through your mouth still and brush your teeth, drink a lot of water... and yeah, eat a lot of airwaves! After that... it is safe to breath through your nose again. Just be careful of thouse burps... they taste gross.

I survived my first day! I did not take any salt, sugar, fat or cholesterole today. AMAZING!